Parenting

If you’re in DC, do pls come along to the Politics and Prose bookshop at 7pm tonight, where I’ll be talking, on a panel, about how you explain Trump to your kids and about the chapter I wrote for a new book on that issue. Details:

Mehdi Hasan, Ava Siegler, and Ben Wofford – How Do I Explain This to My Kids?: Parenting in the Age of Trump — in conversation with Jonathan Weisman | Politics and Prose Bookstore and Coffeehouse

D.C.’s premier cultural hub with a steady lineup of author events, classes, and trips. Shop for books online—we ship!

Looking forward to this conference on Saturday. Don’t miss out! ICI is hosting its Annual outreach conference. The theme of this conference is ” Red White Blue & You: Empowering American Muslims”. The goal of this conference is to educate the DFW Muslim community on contemporary issues that results from living in America in 21st century. The conference will focus on topics like, This History of Muslims in America, Navigating living in America, Making Halal Financial and Business Investment, Choosing educational options for our Children, How to avoid and battle addiction, Creating a Healthy Marriage, and a Parenting Workshop on Sunday. There will also be Youth and Sisters Only session. Our main guest speakers will be Suhaib Webb, Joe Bradford, Dunia Shuaib, Omar Suleiman, and Nick Pelletier.

You can purchase tickets for the Benefit Dinner at the following link.
http://irvingmasjid.org/index.php?option=com_civicrm&task=civicrm/event/register&id=64&reset=1

420 people interested

There’s a hidden way we harm our children: By erasing our own needs and making our world revolve around them.

We do this out of love; but ironically we may be contributing to a growing phenomenon of entitled young people, who are lacking in empathy and compassion. Teaching our children to wait, to consider the needs of others (including their parents), to not always get what they want, exactly when they want it, could be the best thing we do for them.

Being a parent does NOT mean erasing our own needs, as individuals and as a married couple. Having time alone with ourselves and with our spouse is essential for the entire family to be healthy. This idea that becoming a parent, means your own needs and the needs of your spouse/marriage become secondary, is toxic for you and your children!

There are people who lecture on women’s rights and are monsters to the women of their lives. Some who lecture on racial equality while engaging in racist practices. Some who lecture on parenting while being absent from their children’s lives. Some who lecture on oppression while oppressing people using their authority. Some who lecture on being good spouses while abusing their partners. Some who lecture on the Quran without it going past their throats. Some who lecture on the Sunnah without practicing it in any capacity.

Don’t be duped into thinking that preachers are all sincere, nor paranoid in thinking they’re all hypocrites. They’re human beings just like you. When someone wrongs others, their eloquence or fame is irrelevant. And when someone betrays the message they preach, the message remains intact and they only disgrace themselves. At the end of the day, you have to live a sincere and ethical life and meet your Lord and be held accountable. You will be asked about yourself. May we not fall into hypocrisy ourselves, or fall prey to the hypocrisy of others.

On March 18, 2005, Amina Wadud led the first female-led jum`ah (Friday) prayer. On that day, women took a huge step towards being more like men. But did we come closer to actualizing our God-given liberation?

I don’t think so.

What we so often forget is that God has honored the woman by giving her value in relation to God—not in relation to men. But as Western feminism erases God from the scene, there is no standard left—except men. As a result, the Western feminist is forced to find her value in relation to a man. And in so doing, she has accepted a faulty assumption. She has accepted that man is the standard, and thus a woman can never be a full human being until she becomes just like a man.

When a man cut his hair short, she wanted to cut her hair short. When a man joined the army, she wanted to join the army. She wanted these things for no other reason than because the “standard” had it.

What she didn’t recognize was that God dignifies both men and women in their distinctiveness – not their sameness. And on March 18, Muslim women made the very same mistake.

For 1400 years there has been a consensus of the scholars that men are to lead prayer. As a Muslim woman, why does this matter? The one who leads prayer is not spiritually superior in any way. Something is not better just because a man does it. And leading prayer is not better, just because it’s leading. Had it been the role of women or had it been more divine, why wouldn’t the Prophet ﷺ have asked Ayesha or Khadija, or Fatima—the greatest women of all time—to lead? These women were promised heaven—and yet they never led prayer.

But now, for the first time in 1400 years, we look at a man leading prayer and we think, “That’s not fair.” We think so although God has given no special privilege to the one who leads. The imam is no higher in the eyes of God than the one who prays behind.

On the other hand, only a woman can be a mother. And God has given special privilege to a mother. The Prophet ﷺ taught us that heaven lies at the feet of mothers. But no matter what a man does he can never be a mother. So why is that not unfair?

When asked, “Who is most deserving of our kind treatment?” the Prophet ﷺ replied, “Your mother” three times before saying “your father” only once. Is that sexist? No matter what a man does he will never be able to have the status of a mother.
And yet, even when God honors us with something uniquely feminine, we are too busy trying to find our worth in reference to men to value it—or even notice. We, too, have accepted men as the standard; so anything uniquely feminine is, by definition, inferior. Being sensitive is an insult, becoming a mother—a degradation. In the battle between stoic rationality (considered masculine) and selfless compassion (considered feminine), rationality reigns supreme.

As soon as we accept that everything a man has and does is better, all that follows is a knee-jerk reaction: if men have it, we want it too. If men pray in the front rows, we assume this is better, so we want to pray in the front rows too. If men lead prayer, we assume the imam is closer to God, so we want to lead prayer too. Somewhere along the line we’ve accepted the notion that having a position of worldly leadership is some indication of one’s position with God.

A Muslim woman does not need to degrade herself in this way. She has God as a standard. She has God to give her value; she doesn’t need a man.

In fact, in our crusade to follow men, we as women never even stopped to examine the possibility that what we have is better for us. In some cases we even gave up what was higher only to be like men.

Fifty years ago, society told us that men were superior because they left the home to work in factories. We were mothers. And yet, we were told that it was women’s liberation to abandon the raising of another human being in order to work on a machine. We accepted that working in a factory was superior to raising the foundation of society—just because a man did it.

Then, after working, we were expected to be superhuman—the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker—and have the perfect career. And while there is nothing wrong, by definition, with a woman having a career, we soon came to realize what we had sacrificed by blindly mimicking men. We watched as our children became strangers and soon recognized the privilege we’d given up.

And so only now—given the choice—women in the West are choosing to stay home to raise their children. According to the United States Department of Agriculture, only 31 percent of mothers with babies, and 18 percent of mothers with two or more children, are working full-time. And of those working mothers, a survey conducted by Parenting Magazine in 2000, found that 93% of them say they would rather be at home with their kids, but are compelled to work due to ‘financial obligations. Often these ‘obligations’ are imposed on women by the gender sameness of the modern West, and removed from women by the gender distinctiveness of Islam.

It took women in the West almost a century of experimentation to realize a privilege given to Muslim women 1400 years ago.

Given my privilege as a woman, I only degrade myself by trying to be something I’m not – and in all honesty – don’t want to be: a man. As women, we will never reach true liberation until we stop trying to mimic men, and value the beauty in our own God-given distinctiveness.

If given a choice between stoic justice and compassion, I choose compassion. And if given a choice between worldly leadership and heaven at my feet—I choose heaven.

—Yasmin Mogahed, Reclaim Your Heart

Very important. Please read and share.

“It should also concern parents that 13RW hooks into a common adolescent fantasy: “You’ll be sorry when I am gone!” By portraying grief-stricken friends and family who wished they had treated Hannah differently, 13RW suggests Hannah’s suicide served its intended purpose. It promotes the idea that something permanent and shocking is the only way to make others understand the depth of one’s pain and what others have done to cause it. We should instead be helping our kids recognize that suicidal thoughts are typically a sign of intense emotional pain requiring active self-care, counseling, and the support of others, rather than the means to obtaining empathy or exacting revenge.”

13 Reasons Why: Should Parents Be Concerned About This Netflix Series?

Despite being touted by some as a life-saving work, 13RW could do more harm than good by disregarding best practices in media portrayals of suicide.

😀My NEICE is in big need of your support tonight, she IS ASKING YOU to sign this petition to get help for Jacob (pictured here) & thousands of special needs children that are being refused help to care for them in our community. Very important that we Share THIS TONIGHT. PLEASE. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. 🙏💕

Equality for Kinship carers and Kids

Kinship carers are family members (aunts, uncles and grandparents etc) that take care of children whose parents, can no longer take care of their children. This may be due to the parents having drug or alcohol dependencies, being abusive or otherwise unable to cope with parenting. Kinship carers are…


PressTV – Islam and Life: Parenting in the West

Our dear Sh. Yaser Birjas is teaching this class this weekend here in Dallas! Can’t think of a better person to teach the subject. Please join us for Protect This House with Shaykh Yaser Birjas for an amazing experience in personal and spiritual development!

DATES & TIMES:
FREE Friday: Aug 26 (7- 10 PM)
Saturday: Aug 27 (10am – 7pm)
Sunday: Aug 28 (10am – 7pm)

PARENTS:
– Alhamdulillah, we are planning to offer both child care as well as a live streaming room on-site isA.
– Please stay tuned for details
– However, spots are limited, so please sign up here to get updates related to arrangments for parents and child care for this class: www.qbushra.com/parents

Register for the class online:
www.almaghrib.org/Dallas

*****
CONSIDER YOUR HOUSE. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the peace and serenity, the closeness and connection, the love and sacrifice?

CONSIDER YOUR EXTENDED FAMILY. Do you recall the last time you spoke with that distant cousin, uncle or grandfather? Are you able to name all your cousins (or their children) with ease and fond memories? On both sides of the family?

So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship?
Those are the ones that Allah has cursed, so He deafened them and blinded their vision.
{Surat Muhammad: 22-23}

You want to change the world; then begin with its cornerstone. IT’S TIME WE PROTECT THIS HOUSE.

AlMaghrib Institute presents a single weekend seminar on the crucial yet oft-neglected topic:

“Kinship (rahim) is derived from Allah (Ar-Rahmaan). If anyone maintains ties of kinship, Allah maintains
ties with him. If anyone cuts them off, Allah cuts him off.”
The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wassalam)
[al-Adab al-Mufrad]

Family conflict. Sibling rivalry. Spousal misunderstanding. Parenting clashes. And then some.

It all comes with the package. Family is a compilation of different personalities, interests and motivations – sometimes conflicting. You’re not the only one with a funny-looking family.

You probably fit in at least one of these categories:

Have a brother or sister who just won’t take your advice
A parent that doesn’t understand your goals in life
A cousin or uncle you want to connect with but have nothing in common
A child that finds you outdated and boring
Or a spouse you wish you could be more open with
And if you’re one of the few that’s got it all going on, then imagine the added blessings of bringing your whole family to Protect this House.

In this seminar, you’ll learn the:

Secrets to gaining your parents pleasure
Tips & tricks to appeasing your siblings
Blueprint to understanding your extended family
Golden rules for winning the hearts of your spouse and in-laws
Clues to children’s behaviour & upbringing
Step-by-step plan to protecting your home

So give the relative his right, as well as the needy and the traveler. That is best for those who desire the
pleasure of Allah , and it is they who will be the successful.
{Surat Ar-Rum: 38}

Everyone’s Got a Strange Cousin

It’s true. Somewhere in the family tree, there’s that one dude you don’t even know how to begin. But even that guy has a right upon you.

Here are a few things you’ll finally clear up:

Just who is your extended family?
Is a 2nd cousin twice removed actually family?
What is the order of priority in obedience and kindness?
Where do my in-laws fit in this list of priority?
What exactly is the right of the extended family upon me?
The Fiqh of Relations & Challenges with respect to them.
You Try but They Push Away

So what’s the point of even trying?

“The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates. The one who maintains ties of kinship
is the one who, when his relatives cut him off, maintains ties of kinship.”
The Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wassalam)
[al-Adab al-Mufrad]

But there are ways to keep trying without being an annoying nag. So let Shaykh Yaser Birjas’s huge experience and knowledge show you how…

“Shaykh Yaser Birjas is an amazing Instructor, his vast knowledge and method of teaching amaze me each time I take one of his classes. His ways of stimulating the brain, to wonder and see ideas and scenarios never dream of before, are commendable.” ~ Chema Jamel Oh, Seattle

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad

Al-Adab Al-Mufrad is a gold-mine collection of 1300 Hadiths by Imam Al-Bukhari shining a very bright spotlight on Prophetic etiquettes and moral conduct.

This masterpiece collection is considered by scholars to be the code of conduct for everyday living. It is a book devoted to the pearls of wisdom straight from the blessed tongue of our Prophet (salla Allahu alayhi wassalam) and his most perfect behaviour.

The section chosen by Imam al-Bukhari for the family is full of gems of wisdom and guidance. With Shaykh Yaser Birjas’s extensive experience of marriage and family counselling, combined with his Islamic expertise and the blueprint offered in al-Adab al-Mufrad, Protect this House is an intensive single weekend seminar that you cannot afford to miss if you want to save your family and achieve peace of mind in this life and the next.

“Sheikh Birjas has a superior command on this subject matter from an Islamic perspective as well as a human and psychological standpoint. He is a very charismatic instructor and I felt engaged throughout the weekend.”
– Meena Khaliq, Washington, DC

SHAYKH YASER BIRJAS

Shaykh Yaser Birjas is the Head of our Islamic Law and Theory Department. Often described as the fatherly figure by students, Shaykh Yaser exudes a calm, gentle and caring demeanour that welcomes students to ask questions with awe and respect.

Shaykh Yaser started his career in Electronic Engineering in the UAE, then in Madinah where he graduated as class Valedictorian with the highest honors from The Islamic University of Madinah’s College of Shari’ah (Fiqh and Usul) in 1996. He learned from various highly respected scholars such as Sheikh Mohammed Amin Al-Shanqiti and Sheikh Al-‘Uthaymin.

In 1997, he went to work as a relief program aide to rebuild the war-torn Bosnia. In 2000, he immigrated to the U.S. where he served as an Imam at The Islamic Center in El Paso, Texas and a director of English programs in Da’wah and outreach for the Orland Park Prayer Center. He is currently serving as Imam of the renowned Valley Ranch Islamic Centre in Irving, Texas, rapidly establishing himself as an invaluable leader of the Texan Muslim Community.

His speciality in the subject of marriage and relations made him a highly sought marriage counsellor for the Muslim community, and with four children and much experience, his parenting classes are equally popular. With his superb all-round grasp on the Islamic sciences, Shaykh Yaser is welcomed eagerly in every city he teaches whether it is his Usul, or Fiqh, or Financial Literacy or Relationship classes. It is no wonder that he has taught more students than any other of our instructors at AlMaghrib!

TESTIMONIALS

“Alhamdulilah I have to say for me personally this has been one of the best AlMaghrib seminars I have attended…it was something I had been thinking about for a very long time, and had been striving to gain knowledge in this area. This seminar is an excellent guide on how to live your family life according to the correct and Islamic way. Where to some extent we all might have the knowledge of the Islamic way but by being caught up in this duniya we might tend to forget what that really is and not really live family life as it should be lived. This seminar is a great reminder of that and brings you back to reality and allows one to refocus on what is really important, and that is to make our akhirah by consciously leading an Islamic way of life in all family matters. The seminar which is about family is universal to all ages and anyone can gain immensely benefit from this whether you are a child, a young adult, single, married, parents, you name it, and if given the opportunity to attend this seminar, I highly recommend it. No. It is a MUST! I couldn’t be more grateful to Allah SWT for allowing me the opportunity to attend this seminar and may Allah SWT give immense reward to the creators of this seminar. Ameen.”

– Saniya Haroom, Stockholm

“I learned to appreciate my mother more, when is best to have more kids, don’t use the Quran and sunnah against anyone in getting your rights specially with your spouse because that’s a red flag to your relationship, what school to send your kids private vs public and how to make them memorize the Quran. I totally recommend this course for parents and single people the future parents.”

– Mastooreh Naseri, Winnipeg

“Alhamdulilah this is by far the most practical course I have taken thus far! I cannot stress enough to everyone I know, that if you have children or are planning to “start” having children you must take this course – it will greatly benefit you insha’Allah. It teaches you how to raise your children in the recommended way of our Prophet (saw), the Companions, and Righteous Predecessors. Masha’Allah, the shaykh is very knowledgeable and passionate about the subject as if he taught it for years… the class time went by so fast because of how amazing the class was! MUST TAKE!”

– Baker Assaf, Toronto

“Ever since I’ve taken this class, I’ve been saying this to everyone: ” This class should be made mandatory upon every Muslim”. The subject matter is so relevant to everyone regardless of age,gender,relationship status or level of religious practice or understanding of Islam. The course content is pragmatic. This course will be particularly helpful if you have a dysfunctional family or estranged family members whether immediate,extended or in laws! It will equip you with a better understanding of where to draw the line,bend over backwards or extend a hand that will benefit yourself in this world and the hereafter. If you have recently discovered Islam and grew up in a family that wasn’t necessarily religious or involved in your life and tarbiyah, this class will teach you what your family may not have thus giving you a fresh start to reprogram yourself and your relationship with them. You will understand how to make better decisions according to your particular circumstances in regards to current and future relationships. I have seen those who need help the most avoid coming to these classes because they’re afraid of getting hurt,guilty,feeling burdened or even unworthy after listening to what “Islam” has to say about them.”

– Maha Siddique, Calgary

“Protect This House was mind blowing!! Incredible amount of practical benefits from this class. From dealing with family, to marital advice, to raising children to parenting. After taking this class, I feel much more prepared for the challenges of marriage, family and parenting, alhamdulilah. My favourite AlMaghrib class!”

– Nabeel Nasir, Toronto

ABOUT ALMAGHRIB

We started up in 2002 with a simple question – how could we teach you Islam in a way that was fun, social, quality, spiritual, and oh yeah, academic?

We asked around, and it turned out people wanted teachers who knew their stuff and who didn’t turn learning Islam into a snoozefest, they wanted super quality and they didn’t want endless weeks of lectures that would get in the way of their busy lives.

We listened. And AlMaghrib Institute was born. Based upon an ethos of excellence and a refusal to accept excuses for poor quality, we offered single and double-weekend seminars, with the most engaging instructors around, using top professional multi-media materials. Since that time, your response has been insane! You’ve asked us to establish chapters (also known as Qabeelahs) in over 40 cities worldwide, from North America, to Europe, to Asia, to the Middle East and to Australia too! Amazingly, we’ve now taught the Islamic Sciences to over 80,000 unique students and growing every day.

With the blessings of Allah, Most High, AlMaghrib is now the leading Institute teaching premiere Islamic education in the West with the largest on-site student body. Year by year, we’ve set the standard and launched exciting new projects, inspired so many more to do great work in their communities, and raised the bar on how knowledge is not only sought…but loved!

AlMaghrib is exceptionally selective about its instructors to ensure that all of them are fluent in the language of instruction. It delights us and our student body that our seminars are taught by highly specialized scholars and educators who are among the best in their field, bar none.

Take the website for a spin: discover our seminars, explore the curriculum, find out about our high-impact projects, log in to your MyAlMaghrib Student Portal, and engage with us on our social networks. We think you will agree that what we offer by the Will of Allah is nothing but the best.

AlMaghrib is a non-profit organization.

123 people interested · 74 people going

My absolute favorite part of the day is the ride to school with my daughter May. She throws tough 5 year old Aqeedah questions at me, asks me whether I think she has a “smart brain” and will do good in school, coaches me on how to cope with missing her during the day, tells me to be good in my school, gives me her imaginary cell phone number to call her if I cry, a big kiss on the cheek and an “I love you”. Same routine everyday al hamdulila and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Talk to your kids, they’re amazing and smarter than you think!

Oh Allah protect our children in this life and the hereafter, and make them the coolness of our eyes.

Children are too cute.

I’m packing my bags to go to California to attend IlmFest, and my youngest daughter Zaynab asks why do I have to go.

I tell her that I have to give a lecture (as usual).

She says, “But you have so many lectures on TV (she means YouTube). Why can’t they just watch one of them and you stay here….?”

Sometimes their cuteness is painful :'(

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